"OLD" is when...

1. Your sweetie says,"Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
2. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
3. A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
4. Going braless pulls the wrinkles out of your face.
5. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
6. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
7. "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
8. "Getting lucky" means finding your car in the parking lot.
9. An "all-nighter" means not having to get up to pee.