LIGHT MY BLOG

06 July 2005

Sure you are, freak.

It does a body good...

Cameron finally got his Tball trophy today.

Full size version of the painting "Scream" found.

Your sweetie says,"Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
Going braless pulls the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"Getting lucky" means finding your car in the parking lot.
An "all-nighter" means not having to get up to pee.

Q: Did you hear about the man who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing , I wouldn't have signed up in the first place.
When I was young, we used to go "skinny-dipping", now I just "chunky-dunk".
The early bird still has to eat worms.
The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Stess is waking up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.