LIGHT MY BLOG: October 2005

17 October 2005

You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity. You want to slap the next person who says,"Must be nice to work from 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You can tell it's a full moon without ever having to look outside.
You believe "Shallow Gene Pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you don't know to correct their behavior.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You believe in aerial Prozac spraying.
You want to choke a person when they say," Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question 'Why is this kid like this?"

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bath tub.
You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
Your idea of talking during sex is, "Ain't no cars coming, Honey!"
Your hunting dog costs more than the truck you haul him in.
You think the mountain men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.
Your wife has a beer belly and you find attractive.
You consider your license plate personalized because your daddy made it in prison.
The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is, "What the Hell you looking at,Shithead?"