05 July 2007

THE STORY OF MY LIFE

PHILOSOPHY

1. Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.

2. Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.

3. I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.

4. When in doubt, do it.

5. Everyone has an enemy. It's why god gave us baseball bats. Well, he gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

6. Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals... and hippies.

7.Friends teach you what you want to know. Enemies teach you what you need to know.

8.Not everything you want to say ,needs to be said.

26 June 2007

POEMS

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep, one who's handsome , smart and strong.
One who wants to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, one who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, when i spend his cash, won't be annoyed, pulls out my chair and opens the door, massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.

24 June 2007

BOYS NIGHT OUT

Jonathan, Cameron, and I went to the Wythe dirt track raceway last night. We saw Jeffrey Earnhardt,grandson of the late Dale Earnhardt, race there. He did pretty good.He just signed a racing contract with Dale Earnhardt Enterprises. He will be driving the #1 car in the Busch Series.Pretty good for a kid who just turned 18 in June. We also saw a rearend come apart on a racecar.One of the wheels with the axle still attached bounced about 50 yards and hit an old man working on a car, knocking him to the ground. I can still smell the racing fuel....AHHH!!!