WORLD'S BIGGEST LIES

1. The check is in the mail.
2. I'll respect you in the morning.
3. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
4. It's only a cold sore.
5. You get this one, I'll pay next time.
6. My wife doesn't understand me.
7. Trust me, I'll take care of everything.
8. Of course I love you.
9. Drinking? Why no, officer.
10. ... but we can still be friends.
11. It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
12. Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
13. I've never done anything like this before.
14. It's okay, I'm on the pill.
15. It's okay, I'm sterile.