LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

1. Law of Mechanical Repair-- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Law of the Telephone-- When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
3. Law of the Alibi-- If you tell your boss you were late because of a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
4. Law of Variation-- If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start moving faster than the one you are in now.
5. Law of Lines-- When you walk in a grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout lines.
6. Law of Close Encounters-- The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
7. Law of Biomechanics-- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
8. Law of Logical Arguement--Anything is possible when you don't know what you are talking about.
9. Law of the Result-- When you try to prove to someone a machine doesn't work, it will.