INTERPRETING PERSONAL ADS

WOMEN

1. 40-ISH: 48
2. ADVENTURER: had more partners than you ever will
3. ATHLETIC: flat-chested
4. AVERAGE LOOKING: ugly
5. BEAUTIFUL: pathological liar
6. EDUCATED: college dropout
7. EMOTIONALLY SECURE: medicated
8. FEMINIST: fat, ball buster
9. FREE SPIRIT: substance user
10. FRIENDSHIP FIRST: trying to live down reputation as slut
11. OUTGOING: loud
12. ROMANTIC: looks better by candlelight
13. VOLUPTUOUS: very fat
14. WANTS SOULMATE: one step away from stalking
15. OPEN-MINDED: desperate