TRUE FRIENDSHIP

1. If you're SAD-- I'll get you drunk and will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. If you're BLUE-- I'll dislodge whatever's choking you.
3. If you're CONFUSED-- I will use little words to explain.
4. If you SMILE-- I'll know you finally got laid.
5. If you're SCARED-- I'll rag you about it every chance I get.
6. If you FALL-- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.