INTERPRETING PERSONAL ADS

MEN

1. 40-ish: 52 and looking for a 25 year old
2. ATHLETIC: sits on couch watching ESPN
3. EDUCATED: will always treat you like an idiot
4. FREE-SPIRIT: sleeps with your sister
5. FRIENDSHIP FIRST: as long as friendship involves nudity
6. GOOD LOOKING: arrogant
7. HONEST: pathological liar
8. HUGGABLE: overweight, more body hair than a bear
9. LIKES TO CUDDLE: insecure, overly dependant
10. MATURE: until you get to know him
11. OPEN-MINDED: wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
12. POET: has written on bathroom stall
13. STABLE: occasional stalker, but never arrested
14. SEEKS LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP: drop dead after we sleep together