YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY...

1. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
2. Duct tape won't fix that.
3. We don't keep firearms in this house.
4. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer.
5. You can't feed that to the dog.
6. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
7. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
8. Checkmate!
9. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
10. The tires of that truck are too big.
11. She's too old to be wearing that bikini.