COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE

1. Never squat with yer spurs on.
2. There are two theories to arguin' with a woman, neither one works.
3. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lt bigger'n you think.
4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' someone else's dog around.
5. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
6. Never smack a man who chews tobacco.
7. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
8. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
9. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.
10. Always drink upstream from the herd.
11. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
12. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or person, don't be suprised if they learn their lesson.
13. When throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by someone else.
14. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
15. Never miss a good chance to shut up.